


blurring my defenses

by 1851



Category: Ozark (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Ruth is so very OOC but I’m trying my best, Slow Burn, honestly ive been thinking about this for weeks, i love my daughters so much, i mean kind of??, like seriously slow burn, the premise is basically "what if charlotte had gotten closer to ruth instead of wyatt"
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 23:44:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15762186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1851/pseuds/1851
Summary: For some reason— maybe it was how much Marty cared for her, or maybe it was how much the younger girl reminded her of herself— Ruth felt the need to keep Charlotte out of harm’s way.Charlotte and Ruth get to know each other a little better.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from [Pirouette](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A2kSDnv5pdk) by Made In Heights.

For a Saturday afternoon in August, the Blue Cat Lodge was uncharacteristically empty. Granted, the lodge didn’t get all that much business in general, but the locals would often patronize the Blue Cat on particularly hot days in search of a cold beverage and air conditioning. On days like these, the lodge would be filled with the lively buzz of conversation and whatever sports game happened to be playing on the TV. But today, for whatever reason, the air in the Blue Cat Lodge hung heavy with silence. 

Ruth Langmore didn’t mind silence very much. She enjoyed being alone with her thoughts, and she rarely got any time to herself nowadays. Ruth stood behind the counter, scrubbing it down as light filtered through the window behind her. She liked the feeling of pleasant warmth on her back, and turned around to admire the view of the lake, squinting when the sunlight hit her eyes. She watched as a man and his son, clad in full fishing gear, took a rowboat out onto the lake. The man climbed onto the boat and held out his arms to help his son on. The little boy took his hands and hopped aboard, and the two of them sailed out of view.

The scene was quite idyllic and Ruth couldn’t help but feel happy for them, but some part of her resented that little boy’s fishing trip. Even before being locked away, Ruth’s father hadn’t been very present in her life— which was something she didn’t realize she missed, but lately it seemed the whole universe was reminding her of the family life she didn’t have. Ruth loved her uncles, and had always made it a priority to look out for Wyatt and Three, but she sometimes wished that she had parents who would take care of her. That nagging thought in the back of her mind had become even stronger since she met Marty and saw how fiercely protective he was of his family. Ruth not only respected Marty for his intelligence and criminal prowess, but also for the fact that he _genuinely gave a shit_ about his loved ones. Ruth knew many a criminal, but not too many good fathers. 

The rustle of windchimes and the sound of the door swinging open startled Ruth out of her trancelike state. She turned around to see Marty’s daughter, Charlotte. Her long blonde hair was slightly damp, probably from swimming in the lake. “Hey, Ruth,” she said. “Can I get an iced tea?”

“Uh, yeah,” Ruth said, grabbing a glass from behind her. “Sweetened is fine?”

“Sure.” Charlotte sat down at the bar. “God, it’s fucking hot outside. I’m surprised it’s so empty in here.”

Ruth chuckled. “God bless the AC.” She walked over to the drink dispenser, filling Charlotte’s glass with ice and then with tea. She stuck a long red straw in and passed the glass to Charlotte. “Here you go.”

Charlotte took a long sip from the drink. “Thanks,” she said, half smiling but staring vacantly at the glass in front of her. She pressed her face against the tabletop and groaned. Ruth could tell that she was disoriented, maybe dizzy from heat exhaustion. 

“Must be really hot out there. Want me to turn the AC up or something?” Ruth asked, finding herself filled with genuine concern for the girl in front of her. 

Charlotte shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I’m all right.”

“Like hell you are. You look awful.” Ruth said, raising an eyebrow.

“Gee, thanks,” Charlotte deadpanned, rolling her eyes. 

“Seriously. I have Advil in my bag if it’s a headache, I can get you some. Do you need to lie down or something?” Ruth reached under the counter for her bag, unzipping it and digging around for the small bottle of Advil.

Charlotte shook her head. “No, no. It’s not like that, I’m not sick or anything. Thanks, though.” 

“Then what’s wrong? Anything I can help with?”

Ruth had never been so invested in the well-being of someone outside of her family. But for some reason— maybe it was how much Marty cared for her, or maybe it was how much the younger girl reminded her of herself— Ruth felt the need to keep Charlotte out of harm’s way.

_Damn it, these Byrdes are making me soft._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was written on an iPhone on a plane ride and I never proofread it so I really really hope that there aren’t too many typos/errors yikes lmao


	2. Chapter 2

“Then what’s wrong? Anything I can help with?”

Charlotte weighed her options. She hadn’t told anyone about her encounter with Zach, and she hadn’t planned on ever doing so. But Ruth had been genuinely kind to her today, in a way that no one else had been since her family moved to the Ozarks. Charlotte hadn’t made a single real friend since moving— she ostracized those who had tried to make friendly overtures, through cold stares and occasional punches to the face. She missed her old friends, and the familiar pang of loneliness burned stronger than ever in the pit of her stomach. She realized long ago that there was no going back to Chicago. _Maybe it’s time to make new friends,_ she thought. 

And for some reason— maybe it was the fact that her father seemed to have such deep trust in Ruth, or maybe it was the uncharacteristic softness in Ruth’s striking ice blue eyes, or maybe she just really fucking needed someone to talk to— Charlotte decided that she could trust Ruth with her secret. 

Charlotte’s mouth was dry. She took another sip of her iced tea. “It’s, um, it’s a boy problem,” she said, a little embarrassed of her childlike phrasing. 

Ruth planted her hands on the tabletop and shifted her weight forward. “Mm-hmm. Spill,” she said. 

Charlotte tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Uh, there was this guy, Zach. From out of town. Rich, white, great hair. Pastel cardigans and boat shoes. You know the type.”

Ruth laughed. “Sure do,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Ugh.”

Charlotte found herself laughing with her. “Yeah, totally. Well, anyway, this guy showed up here when I was working the register. Totally hitting on me, you know. He offered to take me to Party Cove.”

The dry humor in Ruth’s face suddenly drained and was replaced by a look of concern and suspicion. “And you said…”

“Um, I said yes. Kind of a dumb move, looking back. And then, uh, we got in his yacht and we went. Then he asked me…” Charlotte stopped, finding it difficult to form words. She felt like there was a block of styrofoam down her throat. “He asked me to come inside. Inside of the yacht, I mean. Downstairs. Whatever.” 

Ruth’s expression was now a mixture of pity and downright fury.

Charlotte took another sip of tea. “And he offered me a drink. Then he asked for my age, so I lied, and then I kissed him. And then he took me into his room and he…” Charlotte couldn’t finish her thought. She didn’t realize how hard it would be to recount the story out loud. 

“He fucked you. Yeah?” Ruth was clearly upset. “He fucked you, and then he left town without a trace, not even leaving you a phone number or even a fucking last name.” 

Charlotte nodded. “Yeah. That’s… exactly what happened, actually.”

“What did you honestly expect?” Ruth was seething. “Men use you, then they leave. You think a guy like that gives a shit about anyone else’s feelings? Actually? For fuck’s sake, Charlotte— be more careful!”

Charlotte could only look at Ruth with tears brimming in her eyes. Those words hurt, because she knew that Ruth was right.

Ruth’s face softened. “Shit, shit, don’t cry, I’m sorry,” she said, more gently. “I’m sorry that any of this happened to you, and I didn’t have to go off on you like that. But you’ve gotta understand: that asshole is a classic tourist. They think they can just take advantage of us for the whole summer, then they pack their shit and leave at the end of August.” Ruth placed a hand on Charlotte’s forearm, squeezing her wrist. “This sort of thing happens so often you wouldn’t believe. You’re one of us now, whether you like it or not.” 

Charlotte avoided Ruth’s gaze. She had spent the past few weeks wishing to go back home, swearing that she would never set eyes on the Ozarks again. If Ruth had said this to her just a few weeks ago, Charlotte would have been downright offended.

But right now, Charlotte liked the idea of a concrete “us,” a home base where she could root her identity. For the first time in a long while, Charlotte didn’t feel completely alone. It felt like Ruth’s hand wrapped around her wrist was the only thing keeping her tethered to the earth. 

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Charlotte managed a weak smile.

“Hey– maybe we should stick together. I mean, I kind of haven’t spoken to anyone my own age since I got here, aside from Wyatt, and well…” she winced, remembering the black eye she had given Ruth’s cousin. “I think it might be nice to have someone to talk to sometimes.” 

“Hmm, you might’ve made friends sooner if you hadn’t punched the first local who spoke to you. That didn’t get you nowhere, now did it?” Ruth snorted and shook her head. “Kidding. Yeah, no, I’m… I’m sure I’ll see you around?” 

“Yeah.” Charlotte smiled, feeling safer and more grounded. “Actually– you know what, can I get your number?” She took her phone out of her pocket and opened the notes app.

“Sure,” Ruth said, typing her number into Charlotte’s phone and handing it back to her. The door swung open, and Ruth turned toward the old, tall, balding customer walking in. “Listen… I’ve gotta go now, but I’ll see you, yeah?” She smiled at Charlotte, then walked over to the register to take the old man’s order. 

“Wait,” Charlotte said, walking along the bar top with Ruth. “Here.” She took out her wallet and put a five dollar bill in the tip jar next to the register.

Ruth blinked. “Your drink was two dollars.” 

“I know, but it’s literally the least I could do. Thanks for everything,” Charlotte said, smiling at Ruth one last time before she turned around and headed out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the idea of Charlotte just kind of throwing money at things when she doesn't know how to process her emotions. Really takes after both her parents in that regard! Also now that season 2 is out and SO MUCH has changed (i.e. they rly truly sunk this ship lmao), I want to establish the fact that this takes place some time between s1e06 "Book of Ruth" and s1e07 "Nest Box." It's a little bit of a canon divergence, but I hope you'll indulge me :')
> 
> Also I had a really hard time writing Ruth's anger and Charlotte's thought process accurately. I HOPE ITS NOT TOO OOC! i think i really need a beta reader but this fandom has like 2 ppl :-/


End file.
